Momma Lied: It Almost Never Pays to be Nice

He's sensing the bs already...

So in today’s edition of ” Truths Bullshit Your Mother Told You”…somehow out of the blue, I had a  thought.  No really, don’t look that surprised, but yes insightful enough for me to pause, shift my weight, put my hand on my hip, and mumble, “that heffa”.  No really, of course she’s no heffa.  Anyhoo…it became apparent to me that we might very well be setting our children up for failure.  We raise them to be polite and considerate, and we tell them dumb stuff like “treat others the way you’d want to be treated.”  All of this for what?

Here you’ve raised your son to be the perfect gentleman… and in struts Felicia…yeah she’s the heffa, who apparently hasn’t quite discovered herself how she’d like to be treated…he writes her poems, send her flowers, and pulls out her chair.  Felicia takes all those things from him…willingly…all while getting her back blown out on the regular by Ol G Bobby Johnson ‘dem.  Dang Felicia! So, of course, I’m not advocating teaching your son the not so subtle art of a swift backhand, but this does beg the question, ” Who really appreciates nice people these days?”  People like grit.  They like to know you have some ummph about yourself.  Hence, the woman’s fantasy and quest for the coveted “corporate thug”.  Don’t get it twisted…men dog out “nice girls” every day of the week too…but I’m sure we’ll have plenty of post about the dumb ish men do at times…so no elaboration needed here today. The truth is, in theory everyone says they want to be connected to a “nice” guy/gal, but it never really pans out that way.  We’ve become so jaded by what’s hot, who’s lipstick is poppin, what car they’re driving  that seldom do we see people or offer ourselves to another transparently.

What happens if you call a woman you just met…shortly after receiving her number? You’re thirsty!!

If he attempts to pick you up from home or walk you to the door on the first date? He’s a stalker!!

What would you think of a woman who tells you she can’t wait to see you again? She’s needy!!

Knowing all this, we have found ourselves among a  culture of young people playing incessant games with eachother, and in reality, never really getting to know eachother authentically.  We’ve been trained from the beginning to be good human beings, but after a few bouts with heartache, we’ve quickly evolved into insolent self serving individuals…And since that’s what has become of us, it has become increasingly difficult for some to recognize and appreciate the remain “nice” folks in ANY light.

By no means does being nice only get you screwed in relationships and love, but also in the rat race workplace.  Im just sayin….when have you ever seen the super nice guy win…yeah, thats what I thought…never.  Its okay to be good, fair, and kind…but all of those things have oh so necessary limits.  We live in a cut throat (not to be confused with deep thoat, but kinda conjures up all the same images) society, and no one ever made it to the top being nice and pleasing everybody.  It just doesnt happen that way.  Its critical that we prepare our little folks for all of the jerks, hustlers, and CEO’s of the world.  So no…dont encourage your child to steal, cheat, and pimp, but you might want to explain when to play nice and when to play beast.  I’m sure they’ll thank you for it someday:-)


F.A.S.T.-For Argument’s Sake Though(you can expect us to debate like this)

I totally feel what you’re sayin’ yo actually I don’t feel it at all, I am numb-E.Badu but I don’t feel like being nice and using good sense are mutually exclusive.  You can be nice without walking around with a target around your neck that says “I’m a sucka”.  You and I have had this convo when it comes to the dating bit.  Being a nice guy only makes you look like a sucker when we have already established that we are not buyin what you are selling.  If we think you are the bees knees, all that nice guy stuff is a bonus!!  You #staywinning- Charlie Sheen.  Niceness is not the same as a void of self-worth and self-respect.  Love, on the other hand, will make a sucker out of you!  AND the good book tells us to love errbody. sooo, hmm perhaps we should teach them that the kicks will come but vengeance is the Lord’s so teach your kids to be nice and don’t let the jerks get to them.  Teach them to spread love but if they are girls draw a clear line between spreading love and the spreading of legs which can lead to the spreading of disease as well as spread hate and possibly murder



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