Two weeks ago was a random Thursday that became a very significant Thursday when the man of my life suggested we call our minister to see if he would have time to marry us that afternoon. And at three p.m. I became a Mrs.! Good stuff! Taking a break from law school apps to have my name legally changed, I now sit in the SSA office waiting for A35 to become A53 and I allow myself a moment to give the due consideration to the magnitude of what I’ve just committed myself to. I am changing my name. I am changing MY name!!! In moments I will have a new identity, I will invent a new person and my former identity ceases to be. Heavy. I know I will still be myself and it won’t improve my credit score either nonetheless…I give up my name for someone else’s. While I’m sure a lot of women are as selective as I have been when it comes to identifying a potential husband, I wonder if they all really consider the magnitude of what we are giving up, the principal behind it all. The following is likely a collection of disjointed ramblings, competing mildly related thoughts…ride wit me
Despite my charm, an IQ that qualifies me for MENSA and my LSAT score, good looks, quick wit and I could go on but I don’t like to brag, my life to this point has been one of many lessons learned, unexpected changes and well-earned bumps and bruises. Simply put, while my achievements to this point may not get me in the Journal, it has been a pretty epic ride. But last Thursday, I jumped out the window, no parachute. Him? Still a Mr., last name unchanged and he gained a live-in chef, a maid with mild cleaning related OC tendencies on top of all the other phenomenal woman/mother/wife stuff. I definitely did not get the short end of the stick as he is pretty darn magnificent as well, but I have relinquished a great deal of independence in addition to the selfishness we all must give up. I am now identified as a wife because of three letters and a period: Mrs. I suppose for me the idea of packing up my place and changing my name is symbolic of packing up all of the history that contributed to me becoming Brookes, placing it into a box and moving into the next phase of my development, embarking on the next leg of the journey of life and it demands that I take a pause to reflect.
My pastor recently mentioned the significance of taking the time to appreciate the season you’re leaving as you enter a new one. So, as I move into the next season with an excitement that can’t be contained, anticipation of an even greater run than the last, fearlessness and a great deal of faith, I respectfully process all that has happened in the previous season, good and bad. I courageously release all the habits and associations that don’t have a place in the new season, but I neatly pack all the heart-warming memories, the recollections that make me thank God for growth and for grace, the moments that built my strength and my character and prepared me for today and my future, the love and the laughs, and I tuck them away in the corners of my mind. Feels like that moment at the end of Set It Off when Jada is sitting on the bed laughing and crying. I’m not gonna shave my head and move to Mexico, but as I add the hyphen to my name it feels similarly. Life. What an amazing trip…LET’S GOOOOOOO!!!