wearing the same close two weeks in a row are wondering what happened? You thought you guys would surely marry, have 2.5 kids, a dog and live happily ever after…as promised this post is about the tendency of men NOT to marry the chick who’s in their corner when all they have is potential. We see this phenomena demonstrated in the stories of 85 percent of famous black men and it is strengthened by Kan-yeezy with the line “…and when he get on, he leave you @ss for a white girl”. While it isn’t necessarily a white girl, we do recognize that more likely than not, if a chick is filling the role of wifey, without the rang, to the guy she may just be a “close bus” as so delicately titled by my homies over at verysmartbrothas.com
I don’t know any women, and I do know a lot of different types of women, who have been in relationships, who have managed to completely dodge being the close bus chick. Everybody plays the fool. Right? In every instance of womanly fool for love foolishness I’ve heard recounted the guy worked diligently to persuade her he was genuinely interested in her, through the expenditure of time, thoughtfulness, romantic gestures, etc. She concedes, feeling secure that his feelings are substantive. Having signed on, she begins to invest in the relationship as well, but over time, her investment increases as his decreases. The woman does everything she can to show that she believes in the guy, loves him, breaks all her rules for him, gives into nearly every whim to make him happy, forsaking all
good sense pride, in the name of love, only for the guy to recognize that she never really cut the mustard for him, but was sufficient until he could invest the time and resources to get the chick of his dreams they are unequally yoked and he can’t accept ______ (fill in the blank). Devestated, the woman turns to the old adage suggesting she marry a guy who loves her more than she loves him, accepting that equality is a fantasy. Being the dreamer that I am, I just can’t swallow that one yet, but I’ve seen it too many times.
After discussing said phenomena with a member of the male species a couple of months ago, I recognized a possible flaw in the female reasoning when it comes to love. He explained that from his perspective, it should be evident to the woman who the guy isn’t looking at her in that manner. Perhaps all the things that he is not doing in the relationship should indicate such, unfortunately, the minor things he IS doing help her to reason away sound reasoning. It’s sad.
By and by, everyone CAN move on and find a love of their own. These two will cross paths someday, share photos of the kids, reminisce for a moment and keep it moving. Recognizing that it all comes out in the wash, everyone has the opportunity to be relatively happy, my only questions are for the fellas. What causes the change and why keep her around after realizing you no longer see a future with her? Is it possible that she loved you too much as suggested in “Run Away” when Kanye states a reason for not liking his woman as “you been puttin’ up wit my ish just way too long…” ?
Let’s find some understaaaanding. Think back to your last close bus fellas, when did you find the expiration date on the relationship? Was it her or you? How much longer did it last after that revelation? Ladies, was this post complete and utter rubish? Is this not the rule? Let’s discuss!
We are just dumb..lol…all of us
I think this should just be charged to the game…it’s a lot less personal than it seems, and at some point we all just sit down and stop searching for greener grass (hopefully). It’s also just the way of the world…what good are you to anyone if you’ve never had a humbling experience or never had to recover from extreme heartache. We’re just all essentially iron sharpening iron, right?…
or that’s just what I tell myself. I say treat um all like crap until you have a reason not to…there!! Thats the issue right there…as women we are so eager for love…we are always trying to believe the best in men…many times we want more for them than they want for themselves. If he isn’t shit in real life…why are we trying to make some fairytale life with him? There were no not shit men in any of the Disney movies I saw growing up…none. And he might not be an all around not shit man, but if he is exhibiting that behavior towards you…just know he isnt trying to be your man.